Oklahoma Sooners and Joe Mixon are cowards

Fightin’ Joe Mixon is a running back at Oklahoma. He was a 5-star recruit out of Las Vegas, which, now that I think about it is fitting as it’s the boxing capital of the U.S. Anyway, good ole’ haymaker Joe wanted to try out some of his punches on a young woman at a bar in Norman a little more than a year ago.

Apparently he’s pretty good, as some reports say Jabbin’ Joe’s cold cock across the face knocked the poor woman out. There are even reports a video does exist, yet somehow has not been leaked—which does make me doubt the veracity of that claim.

Anywho…Joe the Mauler Mixon’s Sooners are the favorite against Clemson in the first CFB Playoff semifinal this week. Mixon doesn’t have time to talk to the media, what with all the punching practice and such, so he hasn’t been at the mercy of ink-stained wretches since before the “incident,” which, let’s remember, WAS WHEN HE PUNCHED A GIRL SO HARD SHE WAS KNOCKED OUT.

Today is media day for the CFB playoff and Mixon is slated to speak…but with a catch. Let’s just say the writers don’t have a puncher’s chance at getting much out of the session at it relates to the “incident.”

Media has just been informed questions for Mixon will be “football questions only” or we, the media, will be asked to leave.

— Lindsay Schnell (@Lindsay_Schnell) December 29, 2015

Now, we can try and hide the shit-eating grin on our faces as we say, “well, maybe this was the Orange Bowl’s decision.” Or we can agree this is Oklahoma trying its level best for no one to bring up that this asshole has no business being anywhere near a college football field.

Oklahoma has consistently screwed this up at nearly every opportunity. While I find it reprehensible this clown is even on the team—apparently Oklahoma has no issue accepting those who beat women—what’s equally stupid is Oklahoma refusing to face this issue by letting Mixon speak. Had the Sooners let Mixon speak about his “past” and the “incident” in August, this wouldn’t be nearly as big of a deal (note: it would be a big deal to me, but the media wouldn’t care as much as it would be “old news.”). Instead they continue to choose this silly campaign of obstruction.

Asked Mixon if he feels sorry about what happened. “I won’t answer that.” pic.twitter.com/lHVCIkWDYz

— Jake Trotter (@Jake_Trotter) December 29, 2015

Here’s to Clemson beating Oklahoma as bad as Mixon beat that poor woman at the bar.

As few words as possible to describe every remaining bowl game

There are a lot of bowl games. There aren’t too many in the sense that no one is forcing you to watch them. The less people who watch the Famous Idaho Bowl means it’s less likely these bowls exist, but if three million people tune in you can guarantee these games only grow in number.

Anyway, I’m sure there are great places to read long, in-depth breakdowns of each game. Bill Connelly at SB Nation does this with the added bonus of advanced stats, if that’s your thing.

For me, though, I thought it would be fun to try to describe my thoughts on each remaining bowl game in as few words as possible. So here goes…

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Akron vs. Utah State

Potato rankings: 1: Lyonnaise 2: Au gratin 3: Mashed

As for the game, take Utah State.

Marmot Boca Raton Bowl: Temple vs. Toldeo

Toldeo lost its coach. Temple kept its coach. Take Temple.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Boise State vs. Northern Illinois

These plants suck and aren’t nearly as cool and Big Poinsettia would have us believe. Take Boise.

GoDaddy Bowl: Georgia Southern vs. Bowling Green

Take a shot for every stupid GoDaddy commercial and plan on dying before the second quarter. Take Bowling Green.

Popeyes Bahamas Bowl: Middle Tennessee vs. Western Michigan

Chicken joint rankings: 1: Chick-Fil-A (minus the gay bashing thing) 2: Zaxby’s 3: Popeyes 4: Bojangles 198: KFC. Take Western Michigan.

Hawai’i Bowl: San Diego State vs. Cincinnati

SDSU players going from sunny SoCal to sunny Hawaii must be tough. Take the Aztecs as Cincy will be too busy dreaming of a life outside of Ohio.

St. Petersburg Bowl: Connecticut vs. Marshall

Backwoods Marshall people will be better suited to handle “Florida Man” situations. Uppity East Coasters have no chance. Take the Herd.

Hyundai Sun Bowl: Miami vs. Washington State

Miami in a potential cold-weather bowl game that doesn’t matter? Oy. Take Leach and Co.

Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl: Washington vs Southern Mississippi

I assume this bowl game will be full of people who say “love it or leave it.” Texas is a strange country. Take Washington.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Indiana vs. Duke

The continuing tradition of playing a game at a crappy stadium in an overrated city all while being told how great both are. What a time to be alive. Cutcliffe >>> Wilson. Take Duke.

Camping World Independence Bowl

Gobble Necks’ last stand comes against a Tulsa team without its OC and OL coach. Surely the Hokies don’t screw this up, right? Take Beamer in his swan song.

Foster Farms Bowl: UCLA vs. Nebraska

Nebraska will have more fans in the stands by an easy margin, bless their hearts. It won’t matter as NEB will still trot out Tommy Armstrong’s Interception Brigade. Take the Bruins.

Military Bowl presented by Northrup Grumman: Pittsburgh vs. Navy

Navy losing the Military Bowl will be used by Donald Trump to prove America is full of losers. Don’t let this happen, Navy. Take the midshipmen.

Quick Lane Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Minnesota

Minnesota is a six-point favorite. So Central Michigan must be god damn awful. Take the Gophers.

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl: California vs. Air Force

Air Force is about to find out what it feels like to be on the receiving end of bombs being dropped courtesy of Jared Goff. Take the Bears.

Russell Athletic Bowl: UNC vs. Baylor

One school is a fantastic academic institution and the other used to be before setting up print-your-degree stations outside the athletic dorms. UNC has a QB and Baylor doesn’t, so take UNC. As an added bonus, we all get Ph.D’s should UNC win.

Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl: Nevada vs. Colorado State

Dear Mike Bobo,

We love you. We miss you. We’re sorry for ever doubting you. Please come home.

Signed,

UGA fans.

Take the rams.

Advocare V100 Texas Bowl: LSU vs. Texas Tech

Leonard Fournette against that soft-ass defense? That’s 3.5 hours of televised assault. Even Les Miles can’t screw that up. Pound the Tigers like Kliff will pound strange.

Birmingham Bowl: Auburn vs. Memphis

Auburn will see what real QB play looks like thanks to Paxton Lynch. The Gus Bus takes suffers another head-first collision (as God intended).

Belk Bowl: NC State vs. Mississippi State

Belk’s slogan is insufferable (Modern. Southern. Style.) For this game it should be changed to: Mullen. Wanted. Out. Luckily for Dan, Dak is still playing QB. Take the Dogs.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: Texas A&M vs. Louisville

#YESSIR gets paid $5 million a year to lose games and five star QBs. Bobby Petrino is human scum personified. So this should be great. A&M seems like a total trainwreck so let’s go with the Quitting Petrinos.

National Funding Holiday Bowl: USC vs. Wisconsin

Wisconsin has Joel Stave, so even if Lane Kiffin comes back to coach this game for USC I’m taking the Trojans.

Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl: Houston vs. Florida State

Tom Herman DA GOD!!! will have his team ready, but Dalvin Cook is the best RB Heisman voters seem to hate. Dude is going to go HAM in Atlanta. Take the Noles.

Outback Bowl: Northwestern vs. Tennessee

Northwestern’s offense can be best described as visual diarrhea. Tennessee’s main color is piss-orange. Should be a great time. Take the Vols.

Battlefrog Fiesta Bowl: Notre Dame vs. Ohio State

Frogger >>> Battlefrog. Two easily hated programs with two easily hated coaches. If there was ever a time for a meteor to hit… Take Ohio State as St. Urban the Fraud is damn good in these games.

Rose Bowl presented by Northwestern Mutual: Stanford vs. Iowa

Best setting in college football gets two teams who want to outlaw the forward pass. At least Stanford has the Great White Hope. Iowa football is like stale (white) bread fucking a salad with no dressing. Go Cardinal.

Allstate Sugar Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss

The Brothers Nkemdiche will be SO.DAMN.HIGH. while Chad Kelly Swag™ lays waste to Oklahoma State’s defense. This has ALL OF THE POINTS written all over it. I like Ole Miss in a shootout.

Taxslayer Bowl: Georgia vs. Penn State

This is what apathy looks like. Take Penn State in the upset, but does it really matter?

Autozone Liberty Bowl: Arkansas vs. Kansas State

Bert plans to liberate every damn buffet in Memphis while in town. I can already see the letter Bill Snyder will write to Brandon Allen after he shreds KST’s defense for 5 TDs. Take the Hogs.

Valero Alamo Bowl: Oregon vs. TCU

POINTS POINTS POINTS POINTS POINTS. Oregon closed with some panache, but I like TCU in a fantastic display of what no defense looks like.

Motel 6 Cactus Bowl: West Virginia vs. Arizona State

The thought of Holgorsen staying at a Motel 6 with a case of Red Bull and a brick of cocaine is too plausible to not have already happened. Take WVU.

Capital One Orange Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Clemson

This game is a 4:00 kickoff which makes NO GOD DAMN SENSE. Look for both QBs to have field days, but I like Clemson’s DL a bit more. Dabo gonna sashay into Arizona for the title game.

Goodyear Cotton Bowl: Michigan State vs. Alabama

All Nick Saban wants is for a team to line up, show them what they plan to do and then hope to do it, only to be thoroughly beaten down and bludgeoned with a mace. So good luck with that, Sparty. Roll Damn Tide.

 

Jim McElwain kicks Alex McCalister off of the team and then wonders why he enters NFL Draft

Nothing looks worse than a millionaire telling a kid he shouldn’t go after the cash, which is exactly what Florida’s Jim McElwain did today. McElwain doesn’t “get” why Alex McCalister is turning pro, which is odd seeing as McElwain just kicked McCalister off of the team.

Gators DE Alex McCalister turning pro, too. Mac says “I really don’t get it.”

— Mark Long (@APMarkLong) December 21, 2015

I will never understand why coaches question these decisions in public. It does no one any good. It makes the coach look like an asshole and the player look stupid. It serves no good purpose whatsoever to do this sort of thing publicly.

It doesn’t matter if the coach is right or not, either. McElwain would be better served having these conversations in private and then publicly supporting the decision.

People still talk about Pete Carroll’s odd ramblings when Mark Sanchez left early (below). It’s a bad look and it makes no sense, yet every year some coach does it. SMH…

Georgia’s bowl game is a perfect ending to a strange season

The Taxslayer Bowl between Penn State and Georgia is the perfect capper to Georgia’s strange season.

After the South Carolina massacre the Bulldogs were in the top-10, riding a wave of momentum unto the Alabama home game with real hope of turning the corner from good-but-not-great to perhaps elite.

We all know what happened after that. Georgia would stumble against an average Tennessee team and get blown out against an average Florida team before beating four bad teams to close the season 9-3.

The handling of the quarterbacks was a season-long circus, culminating in the bloodbath in Jacksonville. The irony of Mark Richt’s tenure being undone over poor QB management is something that will always amaze me.

After the Richt decision was made and it became (crystal) clear Kirby Smart was the only option to replace him, then came the great coaching exodus of 2015.

Head coach, gone.

Defensive coordinator, gone.

Offensive coordinator, gone.

Linebackers coach, gone.

The papier-mâché coaching staff (including offensive line coach Rob Sale, whose replacement is literally watching him work) will hope to rally the troops one more time. Wide receivers coach-turned interim head coach Bryan McClendon gets his shot in the big chair while John Lilly (TEs coach) will once again call plays in a bowl game (he did so against Louisville last year). Kevin Sherrer (outside linebackers coach) is the interim defensive coordinator.

So for those scoring at home…

WR coach is the new head coach.

TE coach is the new OC.

Outside LB coach is the new DC.

Several grad assistants and staffers are now on-field coaches.

Current OL coach is coaching even though he knows he won’t be kept on.

What could possibly go wrong?

I feel bad for the seniors; guys like Malcolm Mitchell, John Theus, Jordan Jenkins, Keith Marshall have a chance at winning their 40th game as a class, something that shouldn’t be scoffed at. Yet seemingly at every turn another coach is leaving (or being asked to leave).

The team will have to win its 10th game with a coaching staff made up of green GAs and coaches who are counting down the clock until they’re fired. This is hardly ideal, but for whatever reason there is a sense of confidence among the players (which perhaps says more about Penn State than anything else).

I don’t share the players’ confidence, but I am intrigued to see how McClendon handles running a show, albeit one as odd as this. I think McClendon is going to make a great head coach some day, so getting a true taste of what it’s like to be the man is good to see.

As much as I enjoy watching my Dawgs play, this season can’t end enough as far as the program is concerned. Just get out of Jacksonville without any injuries and move on to the Kirby era. A fresh start is what we need, and we have but one more game before we get it.

Jacob ‘White Jesus’ Eason to the rescue?

Probably not.

The odds Jacob Eason lives up to his hype are almost nil, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be great at Georgia. Recruiting hype the levels of Eason’s generally leaves us feeling gross (or at least it should) but it also matters.

It matters for Georgia more than most right now, too, as without Eason it was slated to enter the 2016 season with Greyson Lambert derping it around the field in hopes of not throwing an interception or Brice Ramsey going from quarterback to punter back to quarterback.

The QB spot is desperately lacking in Athens, so Eason coming in is certainly an upgrade, but fans need to check themselves. UGA isn’t going to be very good next year. It loses its best WR, it won’t (or shouldn’t) have Nick Chubb back and it loses both OTs. This is all before you account for typical freshman mistakes, of which there are sure to be plenty.

Eason will be the gem of a very stout class (one that would have been stout with Mark Richt at the helm, it should be noted). Expecting 2016 to be anything but rough will be a bridge too far, though. And while the recruiting hype machine sets kids up to fail, hope springs eternal. Perhaps Eason can be Georgia’s Cam Newton, Tim Tebow or Vince Young. I wouldn’t bet on it, though.

Kirby wants Alabama 2.0 in Athens, but will McGarity allow that?

The Kirby smart era won’t truly begin until August—spare me the Spring Ball stuff, people—but we do have an early, clear sense of what Kirby will seek to do on offense.

Welcome to Bama 2.0, folks.

Mark Richt (peace be upon him) dabbled in Bama-ization (or is it Saban-ization?) in the dying light of his tenure, but we’re about to witness a full-fledged attempt at replicating the Alabama machine with Kirby in charge.

The first thing Kirby did was bring his self-proclaimed right-hand man with him in Glenn Schumann. What role Schumann will have is unclear, but I’d bet on him being a coach on the field. Schumann was one of Saban’s infamous support staff hires whose roles are cloudy, but you don’t leave Alabama to be a staffer elsewhere, so smart money is on Schumann stepping up in the coaching world.

Kirby’s second big move (bigger than bringing in Schumann) was hiring Jim Chaney as his offensive coordinator, which also locked up Arkansas’ OL coach Sam Pittman (a real coup, it should be noted). The Chaney hire is what hammered home the concept of what Kirby wanted at Georgia. He wants to replicate the Alabama methodology of big, physical, and imposing offensive lines with play-action deep shots and TEs crossing over the middle.

Sounds a lot like Alabama, no?

Being the next Alabama sounds like peaches and cream, sure, but my issue with this approach is how difficult it will be to pull off. Kirby might very well be as good as advertised. Perhaps he’s the Darth Vader to Saban’s Palpatine, but the problem is Palpatine (to hammer this metaphor into the ground) got whatever the hell he wanted without question.

If Saban asked his AD for a support staffer who did nothing but stare at the weakside safety all game, he got it. Without questions, too. He didn’t have to rationalize why he wanted to pay someone $80,000 a year, he was simply asked what the job posting should say and then to hire whomever he wanted.

That’s not “The Georgia Way.” The Georgia Way is to pinch pennies needlessly because Greg McGarity would rather jerk off to the size of his reserve fund than to spend money like the Alabamas of the world. The Georgia Way requires written proof why a staff member needs to be hired. Many of us die hard fans who pay more attention to the program than they should have long worried that the real issue with Georgia was less Mark Richt and more of the lack of 100 percent all-in efforts by the Administration.

If McGarity and his ilk are inclined to act like a big boy football power they say they want, becoming Alabama 2.0 is a real possibility, or at least becoming something that looks and feels like the Tide under Saban. Replicating Saban’s run will be almost impossible if we’re being honest.

But perhaps Kirby has absorbed as much of “the process” as one can, and perhaps he’s ready to bring it to Athens. I just don’t know if the movers and shakers in the UGA Athletics Department are ready to do the same.

The SEC just got worse and the slide will last longer than most want to believe

The SEC dominated college football for damn-near a decade in the early aughts. It put out NFL talent at every position and it crushed out of conference opponents on the regular. It was the big, bad bully on the block and everyone knew it.

It achieved this because it had the best talent in the country…on the sidelines.

The talent gap between the SEC coaches and the rest of the country has all but evaporated, and that’s why the playoff era will be dominated by parity, not the SEC.

Urban Meyer is gone. Gary Pinkel is gone. Mark Richt is gone. Steve Spurrier is gone.

The former has been out of the league for a while, but the latest departures were replaced by two first-year head coaches (Barry Odom (Miz) and Kirby Smart (UGA)) and one failed head coach (Will Mushcamp, SoCar).

That’t not to say Smart or Odom or even Muschamp won’t have success at their respective schools. It could happen, though reports of Muschamp hiring Kurt Roper to be his OC for a second time should leave Gamecock fans nervous. However, assuming those three coaches will improve their programs is a bridge many have a hard time crossing.

He might be good, but the odds of any of those three being as successful as their predecessors are extremely low. https://t.co/HPknv41a68

— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) December 6, 2015

I can’t argue with that sentiment at all. I’m not sure who can, aside from message board fanboys who so badly want their team to succeed they’ll buy into anything.

The SEC has been down the past two years and that was with the Spurrier-Richt-Pinkel troika in the East. Those three are now gone, and each new hire takes over a program devoid of good QB play, meaning everyone is going to rely on either this past season’s QB crop or true freshmen in 2016. QB play across the country has been bad, but it’s been especially bad in the SEC, where recruiting misses have been rampant.

The days of AJ McCarron, Aaron Murray, Ryan Mallett and Johnny Manziel seem to be long gone. Instead the SEC has Treon Harris, Greyson Lambert, Drew Lock, Jacob Coker, Brandon Harris and many more scrubs.

Arkansas’ Brandon Allen and Mississippi State’s Dak Sheppard were two of the best three QBs in the conference and both are seniors. Chad Kelly (Ole Miss) will be the only legitimate QB returning to the conference in 2016. Everyone else will have question marks of some varying degree.

The SEC is on the downslide after reaching a truly elite level, but with the coaching turnover and lack of quality QBs coming back, the slide might last much longer than its fans want to believe.

 

Why life just got harder for Kirby Smart and Greg McGarity

Mark Richt finna bring back The U!

Oh how Greg McGarity can’t like the thought of that. The terrible, no good, very bad press conference McGarity orchestrated as he shoved Richt out the door was as painful as it was enlightening.

I, like McGarity I assume, felt whenever Richt’s tenure at Georgia ended he would retire and do charity work or run a camp for underprivileged kids (or some other incredibly noble endeavor).

However, at his press conference, Richt was all but campaigning for a new job, taking subtle swipes at the lack of support given to him while at Georgia, and also bragging about the potential recruiting class Georgia was about to sign. It really was a masterclass in trolling, but it was soaked in Richt’s gosh-darned politeness. Not gonna lie…I loved watching it.

I don’t know how surprised McGarity is that Richt is already coaching elsewhere, but he can’t like it, and neither can Kirby Smart, Richt’s successor.

For Smart it’s about more practical issues. He now has to fill out a staff with more holes as Richt is sure to bring some current assistants with him. Smart also how serious competition to keep all world QB recruit Jacob Eason in the fold. While many feel Georgia is still Eason’s final landing spot, the calculus changed (drastically) with Richt back in the game. And for those who don’t know, the QB talent on Georgia’s roster is, how should I say, limited. Landing Eason is priority No. 1 for Smart.

For McGarity, however, it’s all about perception. There is a narrative (one I subscribe to) that Georgia’s issues winning championships (or not winning, as it were) is a systemic problem, and not simply the case of needing a better coach. McGarity wants to buy some of the groceries, to steal a Bill Parcells metaphor. If Richt moves on to a different institution (one with fewer resources) and has great success, how does that make McGarity look? Fans already want McGarity out, and should Richt go on to make a playoff or win a few conference titles, it would take Smart doing likewise in the SEC to keep McGarity off of the chopping block.

I don’t know the inner workings of the Miami administration, but if Richt is given what he feels he needs to win without pushback, there’s a better than average chance he competes for ACC titles quickly. McGarity now has a foil for his new coach. Smart cannot win less than Richt, no matter how different the ACC may be from the SEC. Everything Smart does will be compared to Richt, but now every record will be directly compared to what Richt is doing at Miami. McGarity is going to need to stock up on his hair dye as those grey hairs are coming with a vengeance should Smart struggle early on.

There’s no doubt in my mind McGarity wanted Richt to retire and fade away. Now he seems to have woken up Evil Richt and will have to deal with his talents each week. I’ve said all along going to Smart after Richt was a big gamble, and the stakes just got higher for McGarity and Smart thanks to a savvy hire by Miami.

Kirby Smart to UGA: The good, the bad, the scary

So Kirby Smart to Georgia is “95 percent” done, according to Greg McGarity mouthpiece AJC writer Chip Towers.

I’m not quite sure what to make of that as it will all depend on who Smart brings with him, but I will say I’m cautiously optimistic. While I’ve been very vocal with regards to Tom Herman, it’s become clear there was never any doubt Smart would be the hire.

That’s a big gamble, of course, and one McGarity either made himself or had made for him by boosters, but that doesn’t matter right now. Let’s run down the good, the bad, and the scary as I see it.

THE GOOD

Smart will recruit lights out for Georgia, and his relationship with Georgia high school coaches is excellent. It will be impossible for any coach to lock the Georgia borders down, but if Smart can build on what Mark Richt started things could get interesting in Athens.

Smart is a professional networker, so his staff should be impressive. With nine years under Saban and as a top assistant, Smart’s rolodex should be a real tool as he makes his way to Athens. Names like Tyson Helton (potential OC), Derrick Ansley (potential DBs coach) and maybe Chris Rumph (potential DL coach) could be in play.

If Will Muschamp does indeed come along that’s one hell of a hire. Georgia’s defense is loaded with talent and will add more this February. Muschamp is a fantastic defensive coordinator, no matter how crazy he seems. He’s also a fantastic recruiter and has an eye for talent. Just look at Florida’s defense the past three years for proof.

THE BAD

I will miss Richt. A lot. His professionalism and honesty was always a great thing to witness. Yes, he was fired for not winning enough, and I get that, but he’s a class guy through and through.

Losing Jeremy Pruitt will sting a bit, but not as much as people think. His absence will, however, deny Georgia fans a chance at having perhaps the two best recruiters in the SEC on the same staff. That would have been fun to watch.

Losing Tracy Rocker and Brian McClendon would be tough pills to swallow. That’s not to say that will happen, but there are conflicting reports according to Seth Emerson on Rocker and nothing has been said either way on B-mac.

THE SCARY

Any hire outside of Jim Harbaugh or Urban Meyer or Nick Saban is an inherent gamble. That’s just the way it is. However, when you hire a career assistant you’re taking an even bigger risk. How will Smart handle the 100’s of things head coaches have to do that aren’t related to coaching football? How will he handle discipline, especially given Georgia’s track record compared to his current employer’s? How will he handle in-game situations that only head coaches have to navigate? How will he handle time management? These are real questions, and we won’t know the answers until Smart is faced with them. Learning on the job is always a dangerous reality.

 

 

The Basement Chronicles | Long live Saint Richt edition

Dave and Parrish spend the bulk of the time talking about Mark Richt’s firing and what it means for Georgia, the SEC and the national coaching carousel. We look back at Richt’s tenure, focusing on the good and some of the bad, and we talk about the prospect of him moving on to another school next year and how that would affect both the next UGA head coach as well as AD Greg McGarity.

We also look at this week’s conference championships and look ahead to how we think the CFB Playoff will look, and we take a stab at who will be the top-three in the Heisman.